i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We left an ass print on the piano.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
