dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
