I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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