I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
