Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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