her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
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