She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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