his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
