Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
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