North Korea, Best Korea!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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