He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
