Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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