My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
