fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Randomize
