She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Randomize
