My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize