everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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