For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
