the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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