Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I want to walk on stilts...naked
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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