he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize