Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
