Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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