they need to just BURY HIM!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
