Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
