You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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