Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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