It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
