College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
