Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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