Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
