I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
