Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
