I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
