So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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