Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
