Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
