it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
