I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
