absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
