fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
