and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
