I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
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