The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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