Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize