4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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