Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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