Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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