He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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