this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
