I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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