Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
