My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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