Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize