My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
True but thats because hes a fetus.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
