I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just tell him i said nine months
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
