if you like me you must not know who I am
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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