Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
