I can tuck mytits in my pants
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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