i think i have herpe
just one?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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